Sunday, October 30, 2005
Back to ZERO
...My comp is now clean. =D Rejoice!! *dances*
Although.. even if if it's clean, it's too clean lol. I lost most of my files AGAIN, but at least I have backup. So in a way, I'm still back to zero. Although I wasn't able to save all of my music files since they're too many; but at least they're in my CDs alraedy anyway. XD
But I guess I won't be doing avatars and digital arts for a while... since I don't have an installer of Adobe Photoshop. T_T Same goes with Macromedia and Adobe Imageready. T___T;
So anyway I'm currently patching up my pRO program... and I'm wondering about how many hours it would take... /hmm
All that I need to do now is to patch up my pRO (and try out if my aeRO would still work) and I'm done. I'd gladly look for an Adobe Photoshop installer but I'm feeling too lazy to go out today. 8D
So... bye for now. XD
[+] 12:12 PM 
Thursday, October 27, 2005
'Blank' lister. Raging wrath. Boiling water. Private server heaven.
Okay, so I guess my day turned out
quite right after all... maybe except for a few bad moments, I'm fine... somehow.
lol so I guess I'm using a weird title for my entry, haha. But I can't think of any other title to describe what I've gone through today.
Part I - 'Black' listerSo yeah... I was at school the whole day. I was there from around 8:30 am up to 5:30 pm. We were going around the school, looking/hunting for our professors in order to obtain our class card and have our clearance signed. Okay, it's really weird to use 'hunting' as a term in this situation, but I can't help it since our professors were not "serious" enough to follow the "schedule".
Well there was a certain bulletin board which showed the respective room assignments for the professors and stuff... and that was posted in order to have an "organized" class card distribution. But NOOOO~ the professors had to be picky about the rooms just because of the aircon. =_=' like, wtf.
We're all suffering, you know. So can't you sacrifice? At least you only have to give away the damned class cards, while we have to stand in line for a long period of time, endure our hunger, and try to ease our tears and tension...Anyway, I was quite content with my grades... I all got line of 9's, well except for one subject. COLLEGE ALGEBRA. I got an 84. like, wth... actually, I was quite surprised because I really tried my best to maintain my midterm grade (which was 86). And all I got was an effing 84. Damn T_T
I was planning to be a Dean's Lister for this semester, but I guess that was too high so I just tried to be a Program Lister instead. But noooo~ even if I have a somewhat high average, I can't be a Program lister just because of the damned 84. T______T" So from Program Lister, I'll be nothing. Hence, 'blank' lister. -_-"
Part II - Raging WrathWhile waiting for my parents to fetch me from school, I received a text from Grail (Cagalli) that our guildmate Candy got scammed. Here's where she told us about it (
click here). It's somewhat disturbing because someone pretended to be me... and then took off with all of Candy's RO equipments.
Okay, to the b@stard who pretended to be me, may God find an appropriate punishment for you. Not only because you pretended to be me and intended to tarnish my reputation, but you also hurt the feelings of my friend. I know I might have done something wrong to make you do this... and I'm sorry for that. BUT I still feel quite enraged for what you have done to my friend. Damn you.
And since I'm quite busy tonight (I arrived late, I need to prepare my stuff for the enrollment tomorrow and I still need to fix my "compensation" gifts for my friends' birthdays), I won't have time to go online at pRO... sorry Candy T_T I want to help you right away and comfort you at the same time, but I can't X_X But I'll be online ASAP. I promise. ^^
Part III - Boiling WaterLOL I dunno why I put this one... it's nothing special really. I just had to endure the super hot water for my bath... XD I was too busy fixing my stuff, I didn't notice that I put the water heater to 'high'. And when the big pail (I don't know if I'm using the right term LOL) is filled, I then noticed that the water was too hot. And when I was about to put in some cold water, our maid told me that they turned the water off already (economizing water in the house. *bow.*). -_-"
Part IV - Private Server HeavenTo those of you who don't know, Grail (Cagalli) is now using a dsl connection XD Hence you might assume that it would be easier for her to download stuff. And yes, she found another amusing thingy...
Aww man, she found another private server. She's so great wahaha *_* The game that she found also has aeRO in its name. Haha. And she just told me about the features and stuff. And gosh, I WANNA PLAY aeRO AGAIN WAAAHHHHH. She told me that she would burn a CD for me, so I can play too.
But the problem is, how am I going to get it?
Tomorrow is enrollment day. Even if I can go out, I can't go around so freely because my mom is with me. I *must* behave. XD Although I could just ask Cagalli to just drop by at the nearby mall or at the school, I can't... since for some reason my mom doesn't like me to be mingling with my guildmates. It's sad, really... and it somewhat hurts my feelings because it's like as if they don't trust my friends.
Anyway... it really is a problem. You could easily say that I could try to get the CD on a schoolday, but I can't... since my mom said that I have to spend LESS ONLINE TIME when school starts. Less online time also includes less RO time. T___T
So yeah... I need (and WAAAAANT) to get that CD before school starts... at November 1, maybe... we'll meet at a nearby cemetery. LMAO. Partly joking. XD
But seriously. I want that CD. ;_;
...........Okay I've typed TOO MUCH this time lol. But oh well. Haha. Bye for now.
[+] 9:53 PM
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Nothing to give, nothing to get.
Er.. nothing much, really. I'm experiencing a semi-mental block right now and I dunno what to write, but I wanted to post something, at least, lol. Eventually my mental block might fade.. if this would become a long entry. *thinks*
So yeah... I won't be sleeping late tonight. There's no choice XD
We're going to go to school tomorrow for the class cards and the DAMNED clearance. Not that I'm complaining, but I really feel "scared". Not scared for the class cards, but for the clearance. I do hope it'll be signed... and I mean ALL of these. Waaaahhhh...
And for some reason that I don't know, I'm feeling.. uhmmm..
goosebumps. Maybe because of too much worrying for tomorrow. Haha. I'm feeling nervous for the clearance, I'm worried about the library clearance, and, other than that, FOR THE FIRST TIME I'LL BE COMING IN EMPTY-HANDED ON A FRIEND'S B-DAY!!! ... or should I say, my two friends' birthdays.. O_O wtf. It's so unlike me. This is the first time, really lol. And to think that one of them is one of my very special friends since we've been together since 4th year highschool.
Mou.
Nahihiya ako. Wala pa nga bukas pero nahihiya parin ako. (I'm feeling ashamed. It's not even 'tomorrow' yet but I still feel ashamed.)
Sorry Barbz. Sorry Daisy. I guess your gift will be existent by Friday... TT_TT Mou I'm such a lazy arse. But what can I do? I can't go out because my dad's out the whole day... *sigh* But still.. I could have prepared, right? Oh well. All I have now are 2 birthday cards... *shrugs* and I'm pretty sure that Barbz and Daisy would be disappointed since they've witnessed my gifts to Graciel and Ghe (who celebrated their birthdays in the past month/s)... and.. *sigh*
ARRRGH. I feel like crying. ;_; I feel so ashamed and worried. I wanna hiiiide. =_=; But I can't since I have to go to school... *sigh*
If only we could enroll immediately for one year (not one semester)... then my worries could have been lessened... but come to think of it, even in highschool, we had to have our clearance signed.... lol so I guess it doesn't make a difference. *shrugs*
Oh well.
Setting that topic aside, I just got a text message from Kenric (a guildmate) awhile ago. I think today's the start of their semestral break, although Kenric told me that he won't be online because he's banned/grounded from RO, because he got a failing grade in Math. o_o Aww.. and to think that his hunter is already level 98 (one more level before he can be 'reborn'). Oh man, so now I could say that all of the three boys from NCS would not be frequently online. =_=; Oh well. It's not that I'm complaining anyway, since I'm not always online too. XD
About RO, I'm not too depressed about it now lol. I (my crusader Lacus) was able to reach level 74. Lol time to hunt for elven ears XDDD joke. Well pRO is having 2x drop for one week... although I dunno if I'd be able to play haha. Well it's enrollment week after all. But it's okay since the 5x exp is over, I don't have any more reason to go online... wahahaha just kidding. =_=; But I'm sure this would be a busy week... and most probably a depressing one. I can feel it.
Lastly, I just saw on tv that there'd be another anime-related event, which is the channel launch of HERO (in this channel they'll show/air anime which is dubbed in Tagalog). I wanna go but I'm not yet sure about our schedule and workload at that time, since the event's sometime in November. But I wanna go, cosplay or no cosplay. I'm curious, and I wanted to see my old friends (we're planning to see each other there). I know I have new friends in college, but it's still nice to go with old friends even for some time. Besides, I somewhat miss talking with someone who also knows what I'm talking about. Hehe.
Oh well that's all for now. I still need to design the birthday cards for my friends. X_X
Maybe I'll update my fanlisting information next time lol... (PROCRASTINATION WEEEE) X_X I'm still at 'M' in the character category. I still have a looooooooooong way to go. T_____T I'm thinking that I should update my info at an internet cafe (for the fast connection and all), but I guess the security for online privacy is not that safe. -_- So yeah. I have to make ado with my comp, I guess...
I just hope it wouldn't die on me. Viruses are still flying in my comp haha.
Oh well that's all for now... I've typed too much lol. It's 8:30 already. Haha. Bye. XD
[+] 8:34 PM
Friday, October 21, 2005
Untitled IX
*sigh* After all this time, who would've thought that I were to think of suicide again... Anyway I woke up VERY late this afternoon. I woke up at around 2:30 pm. Haha. Yeah, fear the power of angsting. *shrugs*
Well my mom scolded us (me and our 2 maids) for sleeping late... lol as if we had a choice. So yeah... we were watching tv last night, and we were watching a program wherein they portray the past of a certain popular person (Rico from Pinoy Big Brother, if you know him)... And all of a sudden my mom barged in yelling that we should sleep now, blahblah... She turned off the tv and we went to our respective rooms. Well I'm not saved because I had to sleep with my parents, but oh well. I still find it annoying because it was a good show, although it's shown late at night... but my mom had to go in and be a KILLJOY. She told us about how we don't care for our health, blahblah... but we can't help it! So what does she want to say? Be bored to death and not watch tv anymore, and sleep the whole f*cking day away?!?!
And so I received another scolding, but this time, violent actions were included. I was shaken violently and I was forcefully pushed out of the bed.
And now I say, my soul is shaken...
I know I need to follow the new 'house rules' as imposed by my mother, but I can't help but feel frustrated because I have no power to rebel against them. But oh well. Life is unfair anyway, so I guess I have no choice but to endure.
Have you ever thought about how unfair it is? Well, after all, it's vacation... and I'm supposed to be free. But, no, I still have to sleep at a certain time and all that. But why do I have to? I can wake up late anyway..!!
And other than that, I have to join in our meals now. I mean, when it's time to eat, I should be present at the dining room too. I find this as annoying because I have to endure my hunger... it's something like being hungry at 6pm and your family's dinnertime is 8pm. Oh shiiyeeet.
Oh well, I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who is mistaken anyway. Besides, even if I'm not guilty, my parents would ALWAYS take the blame on me. After all I'm the only child and there's no one else to blame but me.
YES. ME. IT'S ALWAYS ME. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME. HAHAHA.
DAMN THE WORLDDDDDDDDDDD. *rampages... in her mind*
[+] 10:06 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Untitled VIII
It's been a long time since I last updated. O_O Anyway, sorry, to those who even cared to read my rantings here... *sweatdrops* I've been busy with my projects and stuff, and now that it's our "vacation", I am busy with online stuff like Ragnarok and also my "study" on Gundam Seed. XD;;
Today is the last day (or night?) of the 5x exp in pRO. Sadly, I wasn't able to go online because I was in school the whole day, dammit.
So, anyway... it's our semestral break (or sembreak for short) now. Although we still have to go to school from time to time. ^^; And yeah, I just arrived here at home... We went to school today in order to claim our clearance (which would be signed by our professors on Oct. 27) and claim our jacket. Well, I never expected that we would actually take the whole day just for that. O_O Why? It's simple: late announcements.
Okay I know it's unfair of me to blame our classmates/leaders, but I guess it's my fault for not asking too. But still, many of us came at 9am. Just as we arrived, we received word that the distribution of the jackets would be done AFTER LUNCH. T_T Of course, I was disappointed, because, instead of sleeping, I had to wake up early, without knowing that I would only be disappointed upon arrival.
My other disappointment is about the clearance. Our class president said that she had all the clearances signed by the university librarian. And of course, I was confident and all because I thought that my clearance is signed too; and my only problem would be the professors' signatures (which are to be signed at Oct. 27). But NOOO~ I was stupid and I didn't immediately know that I DIDN'T HAVE THAT DAMNED CLEARANCE SHEET. Or maybe I did, but my name wasn't on it. Okay, I guess I am the one to be blamed this time because I didn't ask at all. But how should I know? Our president said that ALL of our clearances were signed. And I thought it included the whole class. But NOOO.
And now I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only "stupid one" here. Oh well. It's college life after all.
So when Oct. 27 comes, I still have to run to the library to have my clearance signed. My problem is, I'm not sure if they sign clearances individually. According to my classmate, the librarian didn't sign her when she tried, and instead she was told that the class needs to come as "one". In short, the clearances of the class must be compiled and sent to the librarian for signing.
OOOOOOOOH DAMMMNNNAAATIIIOOOON!!! What did I do wrong to get this?!?!
And the sad point is, no one even cared to tell me. Even if I was "busy" at that time, they should have told me at least. Like "Hey, how about writing your name on your clearance sheet here?"... Was I too busy? No, I don't bite if I'm still busy. But still, they should have told me something, at least.. *sighs*
Now I'm starting to doubt true friendship... again. It seems like as though I'm only there when I'm needed. And I dunno if they really cared, they just forgot, or what. No, please, not again. Do I have to face that same situation for the nth time? History seems to be repeating itself, and the pain is haunting me once again...
...Oh and by the way, as said in my previous posts, I have experienced a lot of unfortunate events considering computers/online stuff. First, my comp crashed and I lost a lot of files. And then, I forgot ALL of the login details for my li_syaoran_cute email. And now, my comp has a virus XD;;; LOL. Oh well. It's because the technician wasn't able to install any antivirus program. *sigh* Well, I have a 'fake' CD here, Norton Antivirus 2005, but it needs a serial number. So I guess it's useless because I can't install it after all. And what's the use of an antivirus program if the comp is already infected? It's like, what's the use of prevention if the disease is already there?... What I need is a medication for my comp. If that exists, lol.
[+] 7:44 PM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
For once... I had a happy day! XD
We got 100 (perfect) in our Cheerleading in Gymnastics yesterday. YEAH!! Sweet success. XD Lol I never expected it, really. I was so happy. Haha. Weeee.
So anyway, yeah. All of us were happy. I had so much fun in our Cheering yesterday. I know it is actually our final exam in Gymnastics, and I should be tense. But I didn't feel any tension because it was overcome by excitement. I never danced my whole life before (not really, but I never got a chance to be a cheerdancer), and I found it really fun. All thanks to my groupmates and of course, our choreographer,
Kuya (or big brother) Rap... sorry, I dunno what's the spelling of his name. XD
Weeeee. Anyway, after the final-exam-turned-cheering-competition, me and my groupmates (unfortunately, not all of us were there.. some of them went home right away) went to the nearby mall and had a celebration. We ate and ate and ate, lol. But you can't blame our stomachs, we only ate snacks at 10:30-11:00. At 12:00-1:30, we had our break, but we were too busy making pom-poms. So there, we were not able to eat.
But at least our hard work paid off. And also, it was kinda lucky because our Algebra professor was absent (Algebra is our period before Gymnastics period), and so we were able to prepare some more.
And because of the ultimate happiness(!) that we had yesterday afternoon/evening, all of us were not complaining at all when we got home; even if a lot of projects awaited us. Yeah... and I was able to finish my Portfolio in English (and Strengths Weaknesses Opportunities Threats Analysis in NSTP)!!! But I finished at around 3 am.
So I guess I can say that I reaaaaaaaaally lack sleep these days. But I can't rest yet.
Cheerdancing/Gymnastics Final Exam... done.
Business Management Report, Resume and Bio-data sample... done.
English Portolio(!)... done.
I think I still have around 4 stuff to do. I think. Wait. *thinks* I think I need to list 'em down.... or maybe not. They're in my notebook anyway. XD
Which reminds me... I gotta start working on my Accounting assignment O_O and my Algebra assignment O_O Gee it's already past 8pm... and I haven't done a single assignment. XD
And I thought I'd sleep early tonight because I'll sleep late again tomorrow.
Weeeeeeeeeee.
But seriously, I wanna sleep. If it's not for these damned homeworks and projects, I should have been sleeping ages ago. XD
[+] 8:14 PM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Another unfortunate event... because of simple stupidity.
Mouuu... after a week of misfortunes, hectic schedules, and doubts about true friendship, I found myself in another predicament.
Well, this time, it's one of those predicaments that
could have been avoided, if not for my stupidity and [very high] paranoia...
I just suddenly thought of changing my e-mail's password, and soon enough, I found myself thinking: "What did I type for my password?".. and I tried to retrieve it, only to find out that I have forgotten my secret answer as well.
Well, I know I have bad memory, and to think that this e-mail account was my e-mail account since Grade 4 in Elementary. So I guess you can say it's really an old account. And I really can't remember it now, can I?
I lost all hope, lol. Oh well... But I guess there's gotta be a reason why this happened, right?... Oh nevermind. *change topic*
We just had our practice for our Cheerdancing (which is our final exam for Gymnastics) today. And I'm so dead damn tired. Although I can't rest now, because I still have sh!tloads of projects to do. *shrugs* I need to do the essays (and decorate my portfolio) in English, I need to do my powerpoint presentation for I.T., I need to do my Strengths-Weaknesses-Opportunities-Threats Analysis for NSTP, and I need to fill up a damned Bio-data sheet for Business Management.
Talk about hectic.
I WANNA GET SOME SLEEP, DAMMIT! I'VE BEEN LACKING SLEEP SINCE LAST WEEK!
...but, seriously. I need rest. My eyes are tired reading, my hands are tired of typing and writing, and my body is tired of dancing and doing cheering stuff.
...I swear I'd go all crazy when the semestral break comes.
Or maybe, get some more sleep. And then try to remedy the stuffs online because of my recent loss of my beloved e-mail address. (I tried to delete it, but I can't because I don't have an alternate e-mail, and I forgot my secret answer. Sheesh.)
[+] 10:39 PM
Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon.
Female, born on May 27, 1988.
Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD
The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;
And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*
Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.
...My comp is now clean. =D Rejoice!! *dances*
Okay, so I guess my day turned out quite right after all... maybe except for a few bad moments, I'm fine... somehow.
Er.. nothing much, really. I'm experiencing a semi-mental block right now and I dunno what to write, but I wanted to post something, at least, lol. Eventually my mental block might fade.. if this would become a long entry. *thinks*
*sigh* After all this time, who would've thought that I were to think of suicide again... Anyway I woke up VERY late this afternoon. I woke up at around 2:30 pm. Haha. Yeah, fear the power of angsting. *shrugs*
It's been a long time since I last updated. O_O Anyway, sorry, to those who even cared to read my rantings here... *sweatdrops* I've been busy with my projects and stuff, and now that it's our "vacation", I am busy with online stuff like Ragnarok and also my "study" on Gundam Seed. XD;;
We got 100 (perfect) in our Cheerleading in Gymnastics yesterday. YEAH!! Sweet success. XD Lol I never expected it, really. I was so happy. Haha. Weeee.
Mouuu... after a week of misfortunes, hectic schedules, and doubts about true friendship, I found myself in another predicament.