Monday, August 29, 2005
Offline Archive no.5
Longing for RO II
I can't believe I made three posts in two days. O_o But you can't blame me anyway, I have nothing better to do. The phone is STILL not fixed, and obviously the dialtone has not yet returned. I waited for the whole day, and no PLDT busybody came. I guess they forgot, or they simply neglected us. DAMN THEMMMM. So I guess I have to really say "farewell" to the 5x exp in RO. I would have enjoyed it, I know I would. But because of what happened, I don't think I'd be able to level anymore.
I'm starting to envy my guildmates. They've gone far ahead of me... in terms of levels. *sigh* Kenric will be reaching level 99 in a few weeks, most probably. Cagalli is up close at around level 80+. Candy is around level 60+, but I assume that she's already level 70+ by now. As for Kenshin, he's up close too. But he already is at level 80+. That's already pretty high for me.
And so, the weekend... ends. It's almost 9pm and I have to sleep early, since I gotta go to school tomorrow. We'll be having our recollection. It's nothing new to me, really, but there's no choice, I have to go. *shrugs* I just wish that there won't be classes so I can play for the whole day. But NOOO~ I gotta go to school.
I really feel like crying again. I'm very frustrated, and I don't feel so comfortable right now. All of my chances have blown up, and it's... gone. Today (and yesterday) is one of my most frustrating days of my life. But really, I feel like crying since I don't have any other outlet. I'm supposed to take out my frustrations through RO or the Net, but as I said... I. can't. go. online. because. there. is. no. dialtone.
Some of you might call me weird because I'm crying over something as trivial as this. But heck, that's me. So you, dear reader, can't do anything about it. I'll cry if I want to, even if I'd already look stupid.
My mother just told me awhile ago that she'd allow me to sleep late tonight. But what's the point? I'd sleep late for nothing? Well, thanks mother, but I prefer to sleep now. What's the use of sleeping late if I'm simply doing nothing (and I mean NOTHING)? Right? So instead of looking at the ceiling or looking at the floor or looking at thin air, it would be better for me to sleep. After all, this weekend sucked anyway. It's better to forget it. But I can't forget it. Damn.
Oh and I have this so-called "assignment" for the recollection. It's about God's goodness in my life story. We're asked to put some pictures and also some descriptions for that certain stage (prenatal, infancy, etc etc). I feel obliged to do it, considering that it would be our recollection tomorrow. But I really don't have the motivation to do it. And so, for the first time in my college history, I'm not doing my assignment. But come to think of it, are we required to pass it? And soon we get a grade? Is that it?
Really. Why should we study Religion if it's only for grades? Don't you think that it's better if you teach Religion without expecting to any grades? Because in this way, the students only get to know God through head-level. What we need to learn is knowing God through our hearts. Because that way, we can get a clearer view of life and a clearer view of God's purpose for us. Tell me. What is the purpose of grades in Religion anyway?
Anyway, setting that topic aside, I recently saw the trailer/commercial of Initial D [4th stage] on Animax. And I'm getting curious about it. XD However, it's already been a long time since I heard about it, and it's just now that I got curious about it. But anyway, yeah, I'm getting curious. XD I'm not really into cars and stuff, but the trailer/commercial is simply 'enticing'. But I can't seem to see the time they air it. Or maybe they're going to air it in the future?? I dunno. But I like that anime. Even if I haven't seen the series yet.
And so~ my entry ends here. I still have some 'negotation' to do. I'm gonna ask my parents if they're gonna approve my idea of going early to school tomorrow, so I can play RO at the nearby internet cafe. I'm desperate. I know. But the 5x exp will be ending on Wednesday [morning], and I don't want to waste my last chance. But I know I already did, unintentionally (well duh, I didn't wish for this to happen).
Oh and I just remembered a quote. It's quite fitting for the situation, really. But not quite.
"Opportunity knocks only once, and once it's there, give it all you've got."*sigh* I just wish that we didn't have classes last Saturday afternoon. I would have played my heart out. Grrrrrrrrr I'm so frustrated I wanna kill more Wootans!!! T___T" ARGH.
[+] 8:57 PM 
Offline Archive no.4
Longing for RO
I tell you, I'm getting crazy. Up to now, the phone is not yet fixed, and it's almost 10 am. DAMMIT, I WANNA PLAY RO NOW!! AS IN NOW, I TELL YOU, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HEAR ME YOU BUSYBODIES OUT THERE IN PLDT?!?! FIX OUR DAMNED PHONE NOW, PLEASE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
*ahem* And so I wasn't able to sleep well last night. My crusader's soul is definitely not at peace. I woke up at 11 pm, 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, 5 am and 6 am. At those times when I woke up, I checked the phone if it has a dialtone, but unfortunately it doesn't. And because I was struck by this 'insomnia', I couldn't get a good sleep, and so I'm still sleepy up to now. I'm thinking of sleeping right now because I don't have anything better to do. I'M SO BORED LIKE H3LL.
But really, because of what happened this weekend (or should I say
yesterday), I don't really feel like doing anything. I don't have the usual 'motivation' that I usually feel after getting a good time being online. But now, there's... nothing.
According to my friend/guildmate Rhythm, he said that this might have happened because God didn't want me to sleep late for RO. But still, I can't understand... if God really wished for this to happen, then He would have at least removed the dialtone at around 9pm, NOT AT 5pm. *sigh* But what can I do anyway? Nothing. I just have to accept my fate. *sigh*
It's really frustrating, considering that it's a weeeeekkkkend, dammit. I would have been happier if this happened on a weekday, because I usually can't go online on a weekday. Of course, unless there's research work...
Speaking of research work... there are a lot of groupworks these days. And I'm not even sure if we'd all finish those so-called groupworks. We have one in Rel. Ed., which is a presentation of your assigned character's life. Our group's assigned character is quite easy, but we don't seem to have the time to practice. I volunteered to put our presentation on video, but we don't even have a plan on what to do yet. Well, unless my groupmates started already and left me out.
So yeah, I have a strong feeling that we have a VERY busy month ahead of us. And so, I might not be able to go online on RO that much. Too bad, just as there is a 2x exp for the whole month (I think, that's what I read/saw).
** On August 31, we're required in NSTP to pass a "progress report" on what we have done so far with our coordination for our "area". So far, we have nothing to report, because the director(?) in our "area" is not yet available for appointment.
** On Sept. 7, we have to report in NSTP. We'll be reporting our "case study" about our "area".
** On Sept. 10, we'll have a [tiring] activity which involves running. I don't wanna go, really, but we're obliged to go. So we don't have a choice.
** On Sept. 21, I have to pass my book report in English. The book is entitled "To Kill A Mockingbird"- and for me, this book is one of those books that I didn't really enjoy. Well, except for the trial part, I guess. But all in all, I found it boring.
** On Sept. 30, I have to pass my portfolio in English. This isn't so hard, I just have to type my previous compositions and I'm done.
*sigh* As of this time, I'm spinning like a top. Well, not literally. I'm just pointing out that because of all the damned effing schoolwork and activities, I can't have any more time to enjoy myself in leisures. *sigh*
This is so frustrating. It's been a long time since I last felt frustrated, frustrated to the point that I actually cried.
Oh well, what's done is done, I can't bring back
yesterday now, can I? All I have to do now is wait in frustration. But SERIOUSLY, I WANT THE PHONE TO BE FIXED NOW, DAMMIT. I'm getting crazy already.
And so, I shall do nothing. *bows*
[+] 9:42 AM
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Offline Archive no.3
Tears of frustration, for the dialtone O_o
You know what, today is probably one of those days wherein I felt very frustrated- I wanna cry. But wait, I cried my heart out already. And I still am, up to now. (Details shall be in the next paragraphs or so.)
Uhh yeah, this is one of those 'offline archives' that is considered as such because of an unusual reason, and this time it's not about my parents turning off the phone. The reason:
the phone suddenly had no dialtone. And of all the days that this could happen, it happened today, dammit, TODAY!!!! ARGH!!! Just when my parents are away for a night. And to think that for this night (supposed to be), I could play freely. *sigh* And to think that I actually bought a bunch of internet cards just for this night.
And it all goes to nothing.It was quite unusual, really. According to my mother, we already paid the phone bill, and I was really annoyed at why the dialtone suddenly vanished. And up to now, it's still not present. I tried calling this landline through my cellphone, and it rang- but the landline phone unit didn't ring. O_o Damn.
I know it's quite trivial and weird to cry over the phone's dialtone, but I can't help myself because tonight is just one of those nights that I would like to enjoy myself by playing FREELY. But I can't, the night is already ending. *sigh* As you know, it's been ages since I last played RO for the
whole day. And tonight, I was supposed to do that. But no~ I can't accomplish my wish because of the damned dialtone that vanished.
Tomorrow will be Monday... fortunately there are no classes [as usual, except on very rare occasions], but unfortunately I have to start doing my homework tomorrow. So I can't play RO anymore. And once Tuesday arrives, I can't play RO for the whole week. I even doubt that I'd be able to play RO for the next few weeks because of our damned workload and our damned hectic schedule. And damned course requirements.
And so to make my long, nonsensical sentences short, this is the bulleted list of why I cried tonight.
** Tonight is the only chance I got to play RO
freely, but I can't, because of the phone
** I can't play RO tomorrow because of homework, course requirement work, and all those other damned effing schoolwork
** Of all the days that the dialtone could 'vanish', why did it have to be today?
*sigh* Sometimes life could be just unfair. Damned unfair. Very unfair. Now I'm starting to wonder if I really am unlucky when it comes to these things. What's wrong with "celebrating" online anyway? I just wanted to play RO, that's all. Is that too much to ask, even if it's just for one night?
Now because of what happened, I don't feel like doing anything. Even homework. I just feel like sleeping. After all, there's nothing to do. I'm not in the mood for drawing, and I'm not really interested in the anime replays in Animax this evening. I don't feel like improvising time and doing my homework either. After all, I'll be doing them the whole day tomorrow, anyway. -_-
Oh and up to now, I'm still thinking of a good outlet (other than listening/singing the song "Pride" by High and Mighty Color, over and over and over again). I really need to get this frustration out, somehow. Because if this frustration doesn't fade, then my tears might not stop until tomorrow.
*sigh* How I wish that the dialtone could just "return" for one more time, for at least two hours. So I can play RO and I could sleep peacefully- without having to let myself cry to sleep. And to think that my auntie will accompany me when I sleep in my room (well since my parents are not here for the meantime). My auntie might see my tears. i don't want that. Really.
But seriously, I need to get this frustration out of myself. I'm running out of tears already. -_-
[+] 8:19 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Quizzes V
You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.
For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. |
Your Rising Sign is Libra |
A total charmer, it's hard for people to say no to you.
Irresistable and attractive, you have no shortage of love interests.
Totally competitive, you tend to thrive in stressful enviroments.
A peaceful soul, you avoid conflict at almost all costs.
Sometimes you try too hard to please those around you.
But you have a great inner strength that helps you bounce back easily. |
[+] 8:51 PM
An evening filled with annoyances.
Okay, so much for an early dismissal. I have not consumed all of my time for RO, but even if I did I wouldn't be able to play anyway, because of those damned sprite errors.
It's just now that I noticed: I think I made a little mistake (or should we say major, since I can't play) in installing the RO Louyang CD. T_T
I forgot to remove the GameGuard folder, dammit.
And so I have no choice but to... do nothing. And to think that
tonight is the only night that I'm free, since there is a possibility that we'll be going to Baguio this weekend. Although it's not yet certain if I'd be coming along, because according to our I.T. Professor, we
might have our make-up classes this Saturday. And if this make-up class would push through, then I won't have to go along because it's too tiring (going to Baguio on Sunday and coming back to Manila on Monday).
So... there. But still, I'm frustrated because I didn't get to play RO. T_T And to think that there'll be 5x exp until August 31. Dammit, I'm left behind in RO again. All thanks to me and my carelessness in installing the Louyang CD which I borrowed. ARGH!!!! T___T
Other than that, my friend Jeddy said that she really can't go to our school tomorrow for the play. And I was quite annoyed too, considering that I went through a lot of stuff just to get that damned ticket. But I guess I can't blame her mom, because by the time the play ends, it would be already nighttime. But stiiiiilll... I can't help but get annoyed and frustrated, since it's been ages since we last spent time with each other. And so, because she can't come, I have to sell my extra ticket, which seems to be impossible. Unless there's still one soul in our section who is still desperate to watch the play in the evening... But I doubt that.
So yeah. I'm utterly annoyed. Dammit.
Damn sprite errors. Damn ... oh nevermind that. DAMN IT.
*goes away*
[+] 7:28 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
Untitled VII
Squeee it's been a while since I last posted. Oh well, I've been kinda busy and stuff. It was our midterms last Aug. 16-19; at Aug. 20 I had to go to a certain Church to inquire for our NSTP; and at Aug. 21 we had our community service (which I didn't like at all). So I guess I was really "fully loaded" for that week.
Anyway, it's another Monday, and there's no classes (there are Paulthenics classes as they said, but as far as I know I'm already done with that. Our teacher said that it was our last meeting last Aug. 15) and I don't have much to do. I just finished coloring my entry for the pRO Fanart contest, but I'm still having second thoughts about submitting. According to the rules we have to send our complete information, including the complete home address. And I'm still having second thoughts about that. Okay okay, call me paranoid, but I can't help it. Who knows.
But I want to submit my entry, and I wanna win freebies (if I win). Although I'm still hesitant to submit. I'll be exposing my address, and I'm not even sure if I'd win. Oh well. *sigh* I must say, sometimes it's hard being too security-conscious. XD
So.. enough about the entry. Even if I will submit it or not.
Anyway, since we just had our midterms, we don't have any assignment for the weekend. Too bad I had stuff to do during the weekend, and today is my only rest day. Awww. *shrugs*
Oh and about that community service we had yesterday... I didn't really enjoy it. Okay, not really. I DID NOT ENJOY IT. The streetchildren in that center were just too annoying. I don't even know who's worse: my nephew...? or them?
Gaaah. But at least I survived lol. Next time, we plan on rendering service in a hospital. At least we'll only render service to ONE patient. Haha. But of course, the patient's disease should not be contagious. Duh. XD
Actually we already made a little something for our future visit in the hospital. We made some paper cranes, but they're not 1000. Haha. I think there are just around 50 cranes. Oh well. At least we have something to give. But I guess we also have to give some fruits...
You know what, sometimes I'm starting to doubt if I'd make it with Accountancy. *sigh* But I really hope I'd do make it. XD;;
Oh well... I think I've typed too much already. I have to sleep this afternoon, since I got colds, and I want these colds to go away as soon as possible. So... bye for now XD;;;;
[+] 12:53 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Kushooooo~
For some reason I'm feeling hyper today. Weeeee~ *dances*
I just finished coloring a drawing of mine (
here) and I like how it came out. Weeee XD *dances again* It's probably one of my first [successful] attempts in drawing DNAngel. I wanna draw FMA, but I'm not yet used to drawing the faces. I need more practice. I wanna draw Roy and Ed and Russell. Now. How I wish. 8D
Anyway here I am again, procrastinating as usual. But I guess I should start to do my homework... after all my internet card's running out of time. In short, I won't be able to download any FMA manga for the meantime. Awwww. T_T
Oh and I checked Ruki-chan's blog a few minutes ago, and I saw this quizzy. I'm amused, and I was tagged too. So I guess I'll type it down. 8D
Pick 10 fictional characters you would like to sleep with, then tag 5 other people to do the quizzy.1) Edward Elric (Full Metal Alchemist)
2) Roy Mustang (Full Metal Alchemist)
3) Ren Tao (Shaman King)
4) Hao Asakura (Shaman King)
5) Marik Ishtar (Yugioh)
6) Dark (DNAngel)
7) Krad (DNAngel)
8) Satoshi Hiwatari (DNAngel)
9) Athrun Zala (Gundam Seed)
10) Tsuzuki Asato (Yami no Matsuei)
Tag:1) Cagalli
2) Jeddy
3) Xtine
4) Jeni
5) Nicole
Squeeeee. 8D
Okay, I shall do homework now. x3
[+] 1:19 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Offline Archive no.2
A little sense of responsibility
And I thought of planning to study the whole night... damn. Oh well. Maybe I'd start studying once I'm done with this post... XD Anyway, before I forget, here's my Tarot reading for the day (got it through text). It somewhat amuses me, because it [the bold text in the reading] seemed to coincide with what happened today.
Tarot: [The] Temperance: It's hard to justify your past actions when confronted with the fact. Still, you believe that all you did was important in shaping your future self. You may have gone down some shady paths, that that doesn't make you evil.So there. You might be wondering why, it's because, today, I didn't join my friends in their "
gimmick", which is going to the karaoke room (or something like that). I actually went back to school before the time (or should I say before the break time ends) since I didn’t want to be late... It's because I had a strong feeling that the karaoke-activity would make us late. I know I sound like a killjoy, but I am not really willing to sacrifice my studies for something else that isn't really beneficial for my studies. I know I'm a procrastinator, but I'm not that irresponsible... yet. I can be quite irresponsible with homework, but I'm not really irresponsible with my attendance. That I'm sure of.
Uhm... yeah. So I went back to school
alone. I was supposed to be back in school at around 1:10 pm, but I spent some time alone in a certain anime shop (and bought a Konoha key chain, the fourth volume of the Ragnarok Into The Abyss manga, and also 5 laminated cards), so I was delayed for a few minutes. XD;;;
Anyway, I arrived(?) in the classroom at around 1:20 pm. I somehow managed to eat the donuts I bought, and I even got to have a little chat with a classmate who was also an anime fan. Of course, we became friends, and that's one factor that I was quite happy about for today.
So, nothing much happened, and soon enough our professor arrived.
And~ soon enough, my friends were back, and they were about 20 or 30 minutes late. Of course, our professor wouldn't just let them come in. He asked them where they have been, but none answered. One of my friends just said that they overslept in the dormitory. *sweatdrops* Well, there's nothing I could do anyway. It's their choice to be late, so I guess I don't have a say in it.
And since I'm the only one who is "safe" in the group, I have a feeling that they're quite mad/angry/irritated at me, because I left them in the karaoke room (or something like that). It's making me quite paranoid, but I guess I'm not to be blamed because I didn't want to be late for the next class. I hope they'd understand that. I'm not really willing to gallivant forever.
I know it's nice having friends, as long as we wouldn't go over the boundary. And, for this one time, I chose not to go over the boundary. And I actually did it! :0
I just hope that I'd still be in good terms with them, despite the fact that I actually became a killjoy in our group at that time. At least, I didn't stop them. They should be happy with that. I just left, that's it. As I said, I can't be blamed, because it's my responsibility as a student
not to be late for the next class...
Oh well. Enough about that. Now I shall study.
[+] 6:39 PM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Offline Archive no.1
All that for an 83?
Okay, this post isn't up-to-date as of now, but I guess it's not bad to post a post that wasn't immediately posted the time it was typed. In short, this post is just one of those posts that I just posted now, but I typed it a long time ago. The most probable reason is that my phone (for internet) is turned off for the meantime, by my parents, of course. Hence the title "Offline Archive". All posts that are written offline (but later posted online) would bear the subject title "Offline Archive".So, yeah, my phone has been "dialtone-less" for days now. Of course, it doesn't have a dialtone. Duh. Because my parents turned it off. Why? Because they want me to study. Study study study. No drawing, no internet, no nothing. Just study. Damn.
And so, there, I'm forced to study. I'm also forced to take a break from drawing despite the fact that I already have a lot of drawing ideas in mind. So... yes, boredom. Fortunately I can use the computer (even if I can't go online), but I'm minimizing it because I have "eyes" watching over me when I use the computer. Damnation, I should say. Oh well. But at least I'm "free" as of this moment, so I'm typing away in this temporary blog archive of mine, which is notepad/MS word.
Well, the days have been quite hectic, and the midterm examinations are fast approaching. Not that I'm not confident, but of course, being a first year college, encountering the midterms for the first time, and self-reviewing for the first time is quite... making me nervous. So you can't blame me. Haha. Oh well.
As I was saying, as the days go by, I feel like some parts of 'me' are slowly vanishing. I hate it, really, but I don't seem to have a choice under these current circumstances. I'm losing my touch in my RO skills- I haven't played RO for a few weeks now. I'm still hoping against hope that my account is still alive, but I'm doubting it. And once I find out that my account has been erased (because of inactiveness and no reloading), well I'd be damned. I'd quit RO when that time comes... well, unless one of my guildmates would be willing to give me a boost, which I doubt as well.
Anyway, as of now, I'm procrastinating again. We just had this so-called "Solo Routine Interpretation" in Gymnastics, and our grade in that would make up for 80% of our midterm grade [in Gymnastics, of course]. I got 83. I was expecting higher grade but I guess I deserve it because I "stammered" with my routine. I missed some positions, I stopped for a few seconds because I can't remember what I practiced. I even forgot my favorite, which was the Scissors Kick. Damn. I was quite bothered because I practiced a lot during our free time, and I even sacrificed my attendance for the Arts and Photography Assembly just to practice. And after all that, I got an 83. All because of my damned nervousness and mental block.
But... oh well. It's already finished anyway. But I guess I should study well next week for our Gymnastics written test, which will make up for 20% of our midterm grade [in Gymnastics, duh]. It's quite small, but hopefully it would pull my grade up.
So... there. I'm tired. Goodnight for now.
[+] 9:28 PM
Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon.
Female, born on May 27, 1988.
Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD
The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;
And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*
Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.
Okay, so much for an early dismissal. I have not consumed all of my time for RO, but even if I did I wouldn't be able to play anyway, because of those damned sprite errors.
Squeee it's been a while since I last posted. Oh well, I've been kinda busy and stuff. It was our midterms last Aug. 16-19; at Aug. 20 I had to go to a certain Church to inquire for our NSTP; and at Aug. 21 we had our community service (which I didn't like at all). So I guess I was really "fully loaded" for that week.