Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon. Female, born on May 27, 1988. Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD
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ANGELI - Adventurous. Neat. Glorious. Elegant. Luscious(?!). Inspirational.

MEIRA - Misunderstood. Exquisite. Insane. Radiant. Artistic.

And your name means...?
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The current layout features Syaoran and Sakura from the anime/manga Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. The pic was downloaded from the Aethereality Gallery. This layout was designed/edited by me with the use of Notepad and Adobe Photoshop. Except for the image/s, fonts, textures/patterns and brushes used, everything else is mine, so no take and no ripping off. Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is © CLAMP. This layout was uploaded on August 19, 2007.

Weee.. XD The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;

Waii~ XD And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*

Do you want to know what your tarot card is? Click here! Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.

Negative: When reversed this card represents a lack of drive and focus or letting others manipulate us to their own ends. It can also mean arrogance or foolhardy behavior. A lack of control and imbalanced thought.



Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Now erasing field operative blahblah as friend blahblahblah...

[mood | sleepy]
[music | Honey & Clover II - Nakayoshi]

Hmm. It's been a while since I last updated, although I must say that this week is indeed not a good week. XD Well, should I say, last week wasn't really a good week. But then again, this week doesn't seem to be a good week either, but last week was much, much, worse. XD

Well~ it started last Friday, our "self-appointed leader" for our Dancing/P.E. group suddenly told us that we would begin practicing for the performance in Dancing/P.E... I wasn't really against it since I knew that we only have a few days to go.

So yeah, she told us to eat and stuff, although we (me, Mitchie and Sunshine) weren't really able to eat lunch since it was still kinda early. So the three of us just ate snacks and we also took some beverages.

Meh~ when we got back we started with the practice, and for some reason, this leader was really annoying. I dunno, it's like she became some sort of dictatorial leader or something. And she kept yelling/scolding us. What should she expect? We're not all good in dancing like she is. =_="

We started at around 10am with the practice (I'm not really sure but it's around that time) and we ended at almost 2 or 3, I think. I wasn't really feeling good by that time since I'm too hungry, since I wasn't able to eat lunch (I ate only snacks, remember?).

So that's Strike 1 for her. Now, on to Strike two. XD

We had our Youth Camp last Saturday-Sunday (we slept over at school during Saturday and we got to go home on Sunday morning). My parents allowed me to stay overnight but they told me to cover my whole body with Off Lotion (that mosquito repellent). XD

Well~ the Youth Camp was okay, although I must say that the Youth Camp last year was better, and it was more enjoyable. Anyway, I wasn't able to get any decent sleep (I got to sleep for 1 hour, but I don't think that was a "deep" sleep) for this year's Youth Camp, and I was sooooooooo tired by the time we got back to school from that darn "Pilgrimage Walk" and I was half-awake, half-asleep during the morning ^^"

So what made that leader have her Strike 2 in the Youth Camp? Simple.
1) She suddenly texted all of my classmates (not all, but most of them, especially those who were using a SunCell simcard) to tell us, the group, that we would have a practice at 7am on Sunday
2) She didn't attend the Youth Camp so she doesn't know the pain we went through. And considering that we're supposed to have the damn practice at 7am, I'm pretty sure that we (those who attended) would be dead.
3) SHE RUINED MY MORNING BECAUSE OF THAT DARN TEXT MESSAGE. Like as if I'd attend the practice, I need to catch up on some sleep dammit!

*ahem* Okay, nevermind.

As for the strike 3... I dunno how to explain it. But I feel like I've been scammed or something.

Well she told us that each member of the group would give 500 pesos for the costume-buying thingy. She said that she'd go and stuff, so yeah... I was expecting to get some change since I'm just a "guy" for the dance and my costume is around 250 pesos.

And boy I was surprised yesterday when she suddenly told us that we still needed to give 100 pesos. o.O I was like "huh? wtf."

Meh~~ I got into a lot of drama bacause of this, too. XD Well I tried airing out my complaint because it's just not fair (I'm paying 600 and I'm only getting something worth 250?)... and I got yelled at in return.

But being the wimp (new word! thanks Wolfram. LOL) that I am, I cried because I was so mad that.. that. I was so mad and frustrated that's why I cried =_=" *hides under Radu's shoe*

I tried complaining but I guess it's no use. Although I must say, that "leader" is quite.. I dunno how to describe it.. inconsiderate. Meh, oh well.

Hmm, I just remembered that it's the leader's bday this 27th (Thursday). Maybe I'll give her nothing. Or maybe a card, or maybe nothing. Haha. She deserves it anyway, she ticked me off this time, and I'm not forgiving her... yet. *smiles*

Meh.

I'm just hoping that I'm not alone in this fight. >_>" But there are some times wherein I can feel that there's something fishy going on in the group.. but then again, maybe it's just me. XD After all, I'm paranoid, and most people that I know hate me.

Heck, I think I live to be hated. ~_~" *sigh*

Okay, here I go again, angsting. XD Oh well.
I'm gonna sleep now. Bye~

1 broken chains [+] 10:43 PM  


Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Of undue influence and expensive jogging pants...

[mood | apathetic]
[music | Loveless - Michiyuki]

"There is Undue Influence when a person takes improper advantage of his power over the will of another, depriving the latter of a reasonable freedom of choice."

In my case, "There is Undue Influence in Meira's situation when her parents takes improper advantage of their parental power over her will, hence depriving Meira of a reasonable freedom of choice."

Meh, okay, I'm addicted to our Obligations and Contracts (Law) subject. o.O But that's what I learned, sooo~

....

Okay, so much for doing the loooooooong Accounting homework. Oh well, it's going to be submitted next week anyway... so I guess I still have time. Although I hope I'll find some time since we're having our Youth Camp this Saturday, although I won't be staying overnight (I'll be fetched at around 8pm =_= I dunno if they'd still bring me to school on the next day or not, though).

Anyway, today was rather crappy. Crappy, I say..!!! I dunno, I wasn't really in the mood to do much at all, so during Financial Management I just stared at the blackboard and copied notes [I didn't even try computing for those examples and exercises]... and as for Marketing, I just stared at the powerpoint that our professor made. Fortunately, we didn't have any quiz today, however we'll be having some quizzes next next meeting. I think. Oh well.

...

Moving on to the rant of the day, which is about JOGGING PANTS. Pffft.

...

Warning: Over-redundancy of the words "jogging pants" ahead.

My parents and I had lunch at the mall near school (after class, duh), and we did a little window shopping for some jogging pants. o_O Yep, jogging pants, for the Youth Camp. My mom insisted on buying a pair of jogging pants (Adidas, omg) because she wanted me to look "okay" during the Youth Camp. But I was kinda hesitant to buy because I know that Adidas products are quite expensive. Heck, I even saw the tag price of those jogging pants that she wanted for me =_=" That's like 2k PhP. Omg. I wouldn't be happy at all if my mom buys those expensive jogging pants for me, because it's too expensive. It's already like buying the "name", and not the "product". After all, they're just jogging pants, and for me, buying Adidas jogging pants wouldn't matter much because it's still a pair of jogging pants and they're clothes that are used to be worn >.> So what's the difference? The brand? >.> Pffft.

Besides, the Youth Camp's just a camping activity, so why should I even bother buying new, and most of all, EXPENSIVE pants? It's not required now, is it? So why should I even buy?

It's not that I'm cost-cutting or anything, I know I splurge a lot on "other" expenses, but 2k PhP for ONE pair of jogging pants is too much. Besides, I'd rather spend 2k PhP on costumes because it's not everyday you get to have a costume.

So there, I STRONGLY declined my mom's "offer". And because of it, she told me that we'll be going to another mall to check out more jogging pants =_="

Soon enough, we got there, and we started looking around too. We found a bunch of jogging pants (which are cheaper than that Adidas one) however most of the pants weren't too good. My mom got to buy me a t-shirt though, and she said I'll be using it for the Youth Camp... and then she added that all we needed at that time is to find some good jogging pants to buy.

We looked around but to no avail, and eventually my mom got enthusiastic again when she saw the Adidas products in the mall =_="" She saw ANOTHER pair of Adidas jogging pants and she really wanted to buy me those. I took a look at the tag price, it's still expensive, but it's KINDA cheaper than the pair of jogging pants that we saw at the mall near school. Anyway, I did nothing but decline, but she kept persuading me. It was really annoying, because it was almost like she wasn't listening that I've been saying. We WASTED a few minutes doing that, and we even looked stupid in front of the sales staff... and then my mom suddenly brought out her phone and called my dad who was quite nearby. She was like, "Can you come here for a minute? Your daughter's being hard-headed again."

I was afraid, since my dad's coming over, but I didn't really want to buy those jogging pants. It's too expensive. I'd really prefer something a bit cheaper because, what would I get if I buy an expensive pair of jogging pants? So can someone please enlighten me, WHAT WILL I GET IF I BUY A CHEAP PAIR OF JOGGING PANTS? WHAT WOULD BE THE DIFFERENCE IF I BUY AN EXPENSIVE PAIR? HUH? HUH?!?!?!!!

So after a few minutes of declining (on my part) and threatening AND scolding (on their part), that pair of Adidas jogging pants was bought, unfortunately. By the time the pants were bought, I was totally humiliated, and I was slightly crying (and imagine that, the sales staff were even STARING at my miserable state... talk about mall drama). I know I looked weird because normally, I'd be thankful for the pants, but I wasn't. Because I was too bothered by its price since it's so expensive.

I guess I DID have some shortcomings for this little argument, but I dunno. I was too bothered.

So now that I have a NEW pair of EXPENSIVE pants, what will happen now? Will my grades go up? Will my sleep be more comfortable?

...

Indeed, this is not really a good week...

...

*runs back to the corner of the room and angsts*

2 broken chains [+] 7:40 PM  


Monday, September 18, 2006
According to the quizzy, I live a miserable life.

[mood | groggy]
[music | Honey & Clover - Mistake]

Stolen off Talia's bloggy (with the new url)~ I'm not linking her new url here for security reasons. XD *salutes*

And I think all that crying made me sleepy/groggy or something o_O Haha. I wanna sleep but I still have stuff to do. *coughcoughartforexhibitcough*

Other than that~ I want to enjoy my time tonight since we don't have any assignment in Accounting XD

So~ here we go with the quizzy!

...

[X] You know someone that cares about you.
[ ] You have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee/husband/ wife.
[X] You have your own room
[X] You own a cell phone.
[X] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[X] Your parents are still married.
[ ] You have more than 2 best friends.
T O T A L: 5

[X] You dress how you want to. (except in school when there's the uniforms)
[X] You hang out with friends more than once a week. (because the mall is just near the school, lol)
[X] There is a computer and laptop in your house. (computer only, no laptop XD)
[X] You have never been beaten up. (but if it's emotionally, that's another case)
[ ] You never cry more than twice a month.
[X] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[X] Your room is big enough for you.
[ ] People don't use you for something you have.
[ ] You have been to a concert.
[ ] You laugh more than twice a day.
T O T A L: 6

[X] You have over 50 friends on Friendster.
[ ] You have pictures on myspace.
[ ] Your parents let you have a Friendster. (I didn't ask them about this. =.=)
[ ] You have no problem in your studies.
[X] You collect something normal. (scented ballpens are normal, right?)
[ ] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[ ] You look foward to going to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[X] You do something after school at home/outside.
[ ] You always pass ALL the subjects in exams.
T O T A L: 3

[ ] You own a car.
[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[ ] You are happy with your appearance/looks.
[ ] You aren't self-conscious at all.
[X] You have friends.
[ ] Your parents working salary monthly is more than $4000.
[X] You know your parents care and love you.
T O T A L: 2

[ ] You know what is going on in the world.
[ ] You care about so many people.
[ ] You are happy with your life.
[X] You usually aren't sick.
[X] You know more than one language. (English + Filipino + Japanese, yes yes)
[X] You have a screen name.
[X] You've gotten awards/prizes/trophies before.
[X] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[ ] You dont have any enemies at all.
[ ] You are Happy that you're living.
T O T A L: 5

Now count the number and multiply by 2.
21 x 2 = 42

A score below 50 means I live a miserable life, right? If it is, then I'm miserable. 8DD *runs*

0 broken chains [+] 8:55 PM  



It's just one of those times...

[mood | frustrated]
[music | Meine Leibe Weider - Akatsuki]

...when I feel like crying because I'm so frustrated. But then again, I cried awhile ago, but I guess my tears have run dry now.

First of all, my dad *kinda* scolded me awhile ago for coming out of school late. Our dismissal was at 3:30 pm, and I went out at around 3:45 pm... and of course, knowing my dad, he was getting impatient.

So yeah, he was like "Where have you been?" when I embarked on the car.. well, I was honest enough to say that "I was delayed since we had to get a copy of the Entrep lesson on the computer". I thought he was okay with it, then he kinda got silent all of a sudden. I was wondering if I said something wrong, then my dad broke my reverie when he suddenly said "And I thought you don't have Computer classes anymore?"

Of course, I twitched, because I thought he understood what I said already =_=" So I tried keeping my cool and tried to EXPLAIN to him that the LESSON was IN the COMPUTER. It seemed that my words didn't reach him though, but he was quiet, which in turn troubled me.

So we were "quiet" for some time during the trip home 'till he stopped over at Starbucks to buy me some frappuchino. I started crying my heart out when he disembarked from the car, but I was able to wipe my tears just in time before he got back.

Meh, I know I should understand that my dad's getting old, but I just can't help but feel frustrated because I wasn't easily understood.

Oh well.

Now, on to the main frustration of the night...

...*drumroll*

...*sound of cymbals clanging*

TADAAA!!! ...TERRANS.

Well, it's not the first time that I got frustrated because of those terrans, but it really went overboard this time, I guess, because I even slept late for that powerpoint thingy and all of a sudden, those darn terrans tell me that they did not have the multimedia room reserved...

Argh.

I don't really mind "wasted efforts", but this time, it's really annoying. Besides, we were given TWO chances, and they didn't even do their job of having the multimedia room reserved.

Oh well.....

0 broken chains [+] 7:01 PM  


Sunday, September 17, 2006
And it's not even summer yet. XD

[mood | working]
[music | Onegai Teacher - Shooting Star]

And I was supposed to be working on my Entrepreneurship assignment. XD

'Tis going to be a short post, I promise.

Nothing much, really. It's just that I noticed that it's been so hot lately. It's already summer~ and I'm expecting the temperature to be a bit cooler since the "-BER" months are already here, which means Christmas is near.

-BER months = symbol that December is near
December = Christmas
Christmas = cool season.

But for some reason... the temperature's still.. well, high. IT'S SO HOT. XD I even saw some of my friends on YM having stat messages like "BRB, Taking a bath #25165731. It's so hot." XD I assume they've been taking a bath for so many times because it's hot?

The aircon is on, but it's still hot.. X_X

And it's not even summer yet.

Oh well~ back to work.

0 broken chains [+] 6:30 PM  



Of AXN nostalgia and incoming dancing practicals.

[mood | rushed]
[music | Cyber Team in Akihabara - Birth]

Haha. Nostalgia~ XD

I came across the anime title "Cyber Team in Akihabara" while surfing around gendou.com... and well, I remembered the good ol' days when I was watching AXN. XD

Too bad they removed the anime off their program list, I enjoyed watching subbed anime from that channel XD Oh well.

Anyway~ nothing much happened these days, except last Friday (when I got to meet some of the peeps from the forum I'm in) and yesterday, which is Saturday (wherein I got to go to the debut of my coffeemate and friend, Mitchie). XD

And now~ it's back to the old routine. =_= School sucks. XD I wish it's our sembreak already, I'm so excited to do that hourglass. LOL

But really =___= I wish it's all over.

I really want to have some decent sleep. XD

And gawd, it's our Dancing practical test tomorrow O_O And I don't have any idea on how to do the steps for this can-balancing dance. =_= I had my mom remove some pebbles from the cans that I'm using (so they won't be that heavy)... and I hope the weight is just right so it won't fall off my head XD And I hope that if ever it falls, it won't scatter any pebbles >.> Because the can (that my friend Mitchie is using) scattered some rocks on the "dance floor" when it fell. XD

Meh.

I don't know what to do tomorrow, and it's kinda sad that our practical test tomorrow would be an individual test and NOT a group test =_="

My grade in Dancing was always "pulled up" because of the group dancing thingies, and now I think my line of 9 grade will decrease because of the individual dancing thingies. =___="

Ah well...

It seems that I'm going to hear a lot of "fireworks" again tomorrow. XD (the falling cans sound like small fireworks popping XD) Or maybe not, if my classmates would really balance their cans on their heads o_O

But I really doubt that I'd get a good grade in the practical test tomorrow =_= Because:
1) I dunno the steps
2) I really dunno how to balance the can on my head
3) It's that time of the month and my speed and strength is reduced by 1/2 (>.> damn)
4) I can't practice properly without the music

Meh.

Good luck to me. *groans and runs off to continue her very very boring Entrepreneurship assignment*

1 broken chains [+] 5:39 PM  


Thursday, September 14, 2006
Of wasted efforts and art exhibits.

[mood | sleepy]
[music | Paradise Kiss - Do You Want To]

And the song for the week award goes to "Do You Want To" from Paradise Kiss; for being in the music thingy for the past 2 or 3 posts!

Okay, my effort for the powerpoint thingy last Wednesday was a waste. I should've slept earlier. But nooo~ they did not have the computer reserved for use. So my effort was wasted.

But then again, we didn't have the report, because I kinda showed "hints" that I was really annoyed. I told them I did a lot of summarizing (because I summarized a lot of stuff, because even if some of my groupmates DID summarize their part, it's not summarized enough). I also told them that I slept really late.

Haha. *smiles*

Anyway~ I was told to stay after Religion class, along with my classmates Tyrone (the only guy in our section) and Barbs/Barbara. I thought we did something silly, so I was kinda scared... but that fear immediately vanished when I saw my drawing (which was an assignment) being handed back to me. I thought the prof wasn't satisfied, but she then told us to enhance our art o_O

I was surprised, and I was still listening to our prof speak... and then eventually I found out that the three of us will have our artworks exhibited in school (I dunno when though)! Woot.

So yeah, I'll be "enhancing" my drawing now... but I think all I need to do is to make the colors darker (since I used colored pencil) and the lines clearer/solid. Meh~

I'll be passing it next Tuesday, though. My hands hurt already. XD

Since I'm feeling lazy to "enhance" my work, I'll go sleep now. I'll review for Financial Management tomorrow, and I'll review for Marketing during the break. XD

I hope I'd be able to answer the Marketing test though. The test has been postponed for SO MANY times already, and that means I've been reviewing for SO MANY times as well. But as of the moment, my mind feels blank. XD

Hmmm.

I think I'm going to sleep now. XD I need to catch up on some sleep, especially that I slept late yesterday. Besides, I need to give my brain a little rest, so I can absorb the formulas for Financial Management tomorrow.

Whee, cramming. XD

Oh well. Bye~~ *runs off to listen to the same song AGAIN*

0 broken chains [+] 9:26 PM  


Wednesday, September 13, 2006
"Do You Want To" is killing my brain. XD

[mood | bored]
[music | Paradise Kiss - Do You Want To]

As my friend Zanyuki said, nakakaloko 'tong kantang 'to. XD

I'm so amused with the song right now, and I've been listening to it since last night (well, every time I'm free to listen to music, I mean).

Nyah.

Nothing special happened today~ we just discussed in Financial Management, and we're going to have our quiz this Friday =_=" I hope I'd be able to answer the questions... because usually, even if I know the formula, I won't be able to compute it if the question is altered in some way =_=" Ah well.

And our quiz in Marketing (which was supposed to be today) was postponed yet again. XD I think today's the second time it got postponed... or was it the third? XD Anyway~ I still need to memorize the topic/s in the hand-out that was given... Because I've been given a lot of chances already. XD

Hmmm... for some weird reason, I feel like today's a Saturday. o_O Maybe it's just because we didn't have our Accounting class yesterday so we don't have anything to do.. XD But I'll be busy later since I'm the one who'll be making the powerpoint presentation for our Religion (YES IT'S ALWAYS RELIGION O.O) group report. XD

The problem is, I currently don't have a diskette (where I can place the powerpoint file)... but I guess my mom would be able to buy it later. XD

The only problem now is: how the heck am I going to begin with the presentation?

One of my groupmates did a research this noon at the computer lab in school (since her computer bugged down)... And I'm not really sure, but she said the file/article/whatever that she found was really long. Now I'm wondering, why did I receive a file/article that's really short?

I'm kinda bothered with this, really.

I think she forgot to send me the whole article (since that's the WHOLE report). Or maybe, this article really IS the whole article... but I have a feeling that this is just MY report, and not the GROUP report. Gawd, she said it's long! O__O This is too short, for me at least.

Then again................... I haven't read the file/article yet. XD I just looked at the length. *laughs and gets whacked*

Oh well, it's already past 4pm, so I guess I should start working. =__=

And I could've asked mom to buy me the unlimited call and text prepaid card for my Sun cel.. >_>" (I only asked her to buy the unlimited text) Gwaaah. I think I'll be needing the unlimited-call thingy to call my groupmate/s. =_="

Ah well~ I'll be off now to listen to more "Do You Want To" madness. XD

0 broken chains [+] 4:00 PM  


Tuesday, September 12, 2006
*sings* well do ya~ do ya do ya wanna~

[mood | bouncy]
[music | Paradise Kiss - Do You Want To]

SHORT POST. XDD

Accounting = prof was absent (yay!) =D
Economics = quiz =_=
Religion = watched a movie and made a little show-and-tell of the artwork assignment, wherein I messed up
Speech communication = Mock job interview, and I was the last one to be called =_=

Oh well.

I wanna post, but I don't feel like posting anything sensical.. lol. XD

Oh and Pegasus (check Jeddy's blog for more details) is really annoying. Friend indeed in time of need. Pfft.

And~ Nicole and I made a Vampire Knight deal! =D She likes Zero and Aidou and I like Kaname and Ichijou. That's it. Haha XD (did that even make sense?)

I still need to have some way of downloading the manga (the files are so big, I can't download them here on my house comp). XD I really want to see/read it.. XD

Okay I'm going to sleep now. ~_~

0 broken chains [+] 10:13 PM  


Sunday, September 10, 2006
Vehemently crushed . . . ?

[mood | crushed]
[music | Gundam Seed - Rey Za Burrel: Omokage]

I have said this before, and I'll say it again............ I just HATE getting sermons. Especially if we just came from mass, which makes that another "sermon".

Pfffft. =_=" And I was supposed to work on my Religion assignment (which is a drawing)... but I lost my mood because of that "sermon". And no, it's not the sermon from the mass. Duh.

...So I guess my narrow-mindedness is showing again. Oh well.

*groans*

I know my performance in school's not that good for this semester, and I even got a line of 6 in Accounting as my midterm grade. And now my parents are (as usual) telling me to lay off the comp for a while... and my dad kept talking about dedicating more time to my studies and stuff...

I've heard that line for a lot of times before... but....

I'M REALLY OUT OF MOTIVATION ALREADY, DAMMIT... Only a perfect score will help me this finals, so I can get my grade up to at least 75... but I don't think that's possible. Even if I force myself to study... I dunno, but I really lost hope already. I know I won't make it.

My parents said that they're okay with my shifting of courses, but they are saying that they hate students who shift. So, which is which? And now I can't but feel that they're ashamed of having me as their daughter too. Because I know I did okay when I was in elementary and highschool... but I'm getting worse now that I'm in college.

And now... I dunno, but I feel really crushed. And depressed. And maybe.. suicidal. I can't bear the humiliation, I'm so ashamed of myself. Sorry mom, sorry dad...

*cries*

My mom told me to do my best to raise my grade (for the finals) in Accounting to at least 75... Or maybe drop the Financial Accounting subject, but that will give my transcript a 'FW' (failure due to withdrawal) mark.

My dad said that he preferred the 'FW' mark, but he said I should try to "pursue" the fight 'till the finals. I'd think of the same thing too, I'd rather pursue the finals since, after all, I'm already there... but the only thing that hinders me is this: What if I would still get a line-of-6 grade for the finals? Then I'd be regretful even more for not dropping the subject before the finals...

But... as my mom said, if I'd still get a line of 6 as my grade for the finals, my application for work in the future (since the employer/s would see my transcript of grades and stuff) would be affected. And if I drop the subject now and get a 'FW' mark, my application for work would still be affected. *DIES*

But I really dunno, I can't decide anymore... I know seeing a line of 6 AND a 'FW' mark would not be pleasing for the employer... but... *cries again*

So what should I do now? Should I pursue the subject even if the risk of getting another line of 6 is still there? Or should I drop the subject now even before that happens?

Ayoko na talaga, pwede bang mamatay nalang ako?

......... I really don't have a bright future.

*sulks to a corner and angsts*

(And they're praying the rosary downstairs with some neighbors... and I'm still in the room, crying my heart out. Pfft.)

1 broken chains [+] 8:14 PM  


Saturday, September 09, 2006
Spluuuurge. =D

[mood | lazy]
[music | Angelic Layer - The Starry Sky]

Okay, I wasn't called for the report for our Law subject. Yaaaaay. XD Maybe next week~ but I still have time to enhance my report. Yaaaaaaay.

...

Nothing much really, I felt like posting~ but I dunno what to post. =_=

Anyway, seriously... I AM GETTING FAT. I noticed that my appetite has increased, and I eat more than my normal diet o_O I dunno what's happening, but I assume that it's an effect of the dextrose (when I was in the hospital) or maybe it's because I'm really stressed out.

Meh.

I can't and I DON'T want to get fat ;_; But it's already showing. NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!! I need to take some sort of diet. o.o; But I'm not used to it! WAAAAAAAAAH~~

*runs*

0 broken chains [+] 1:09 PM  


Friday, September 08, 2006
Violence and Intimidation... er, yeah. =_=

[mood | bored]
[music | R.O.D. TV - Confidence]

So much for buying an internet card~ *sigh*
I wasn't able to enjoy my online time tonight, really. Maybe except for the fact that I got to download a bunch of anime songs [again], I don't find my online time tonight too pleasing. It's not in the sense that I got annoyed, but there wasn't much people online. And if ever they're online, they're busy or something. =_=" Oh well.

We'll be reporting in Law (Obligations and Contracts) tomorrow... and I'm nervous about it since I'm not really good with reporting. But then again, it's a LAW subject, so I should get used to it, I guess.

'Tis just a short post~ I'll update next time.

I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep~

And OMG I'm getting fat.

1 broken chains [+] 8:33 PM  


Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Revenge is mine... hopefully.

[mood | hopeless XD]
[music | Honey & Clover - Tsuki no Naifu]

I should be reviewing for our Accounting quiz... but what the heck. >_>" I'm too lazy already.

All I'm doing now is... nothing, except continuing my "copy" work for our Accounting assignment. Haha.

Yep, I think I'll get through with this through copying. But I'm pretty sure I won't be able to answer the quizzes decently, since I'm copying without even understanding. o_O

But then again, I think I need to study if I don't want to pull my group down.

After all, our professor just had to be someone with CRAB mentality. He put us in "groups" and we have to look out for each other... and when one gets a low grade, all of the group members will have lower grades too.

I'm not really against the "group" thingy, but I don't really like working in groups. ^^; Besides, of all the things, I don't want to pull others down with my stupidity when it comes to Accounting. >.>" But I guess I have no choice.

I tried giving him a low rating at the faculty evaluation awhile ago, and I filled up the "points to improve" part. I felt relieved when I finished the evaluation, although I don't think that all of our evaluations would be taken seriously by the admin. =_=" So I guess it was a waste... but what the heck. I got to have revenge, anyway. XD

So yeah.. We're having Accounting class again tomorrow, ugh. =_=" If only I can absent myself T_T" Whaa.

And yes, I'll most probably be shifting courses next semester. I got the list of subject offerings for the BSBA (Bachelor of Science in Business Administration) course, and fortunately I have only 5 subjects to catch up with. And fortunately, all of the subjects have 3 units, and they're not as heavy as those in BSA (Bachelor of Science in Accountancy). But I really have to make good grades this time, especially if I want to get in a good Law school. o_o

Some of my classmates are shifting too, although I'm not really sure if they're serious about it or not. o_O But I'm definitely shifting since:
1) I know I won't make it anymore
2) I'm already sick of Accounting class
3) I don't want to wait for me to get kicked out of the program in 3rd year (Sayang ang oras kung ma-kick-out lang ako kung kelan na ako 3rd year.)

Meh.

Okay, I'll be off now, and I'll start reviewing. >.>" Just let me finish talking to my friend. XD

0 broken chains [+] 8:51 PM  


Sunday, September 03, 2006
I can't take it anymore~

[mood | distressed]
[music | Honey & Clover - Waltz]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

I WANNA SHIFT COURSES, NOW!!!

Gawd, I know I've been procrastinating today but I'm not really "patient" when it comes to Accounting anymore. =_= I don't want to read about it anymore, I'm getting tired of it.

Blame the midterm grade for my low enthusiasm... but then again, I'm the one who makes my midterm grade. But anyway~

I'm still not done with the long Accounting homework. XD

There are around 70 problems, and I still haven't started O_O I'm still in the theory part of the assignment. Ahahahahahahahahahaha...

...

I'm doomed. Can I die now?

...

Ayoko na talaga, suko na ako.

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *panics and runs*

0 broken chains [+] 8:49 PM