[[• Contemplations Within Struggle •]] [[• v.23 Midnight Enchantment •]]

The Magician

Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon. Female, born on May 27, 1988. Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD

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Albion Palace

Methuselah Empire

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Fleurs du Mal

The Ghetto

The Gate

Ichiraku Ramen Forum
Minitokyo | Anime Paper
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Gendou.com | Gaia Online
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My Name

ANGELI - Adventurous. Neat. Glorious. Elegant. Luscious(?!). Inspirational.

MEIRA - Misunderstood. Exquisite. Insane. Radiant. Artistic.
And your name means...?

Other Stuff

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This site is certified 43% evil and 57% good by the Gematriculator.

The layout

The current layout features Syaoran and Sakura from the anime/manga Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. The pic was downloaded from the Aethereality Gallery. This layout was designed/edited by me with the use of Notepad and Adobe Photoshop. Except for the image/s, fonts, textures/patterns and brushes used, everything else is mine, so no take and no ripping off. Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is © CLAMP. This layout was uploaded on August 19, 2007.

The mood icons

Weee.. XD The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;

Waii~ XD And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*

My Tarot Card

Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.

Negative: When reversed this card represents a lack of drive and focus or letting others manipulate us to their own ends. It can also mean arrogance or foolhardy behavior. A lack of control and imbalanced thought.

Sunday, August 28, 2005
Offline Archive no.3
Tears of frustration, for the dialtone O_o

You know what, today is probably one of those days wherein I felt very frustrated- I wanna cry. But wait, I cried my heart out already. And I still am, up to now. (Details shall be in the next paragraphs or so.)

Uhh yeah, this is one of those 'offline archives' that is considered as such because of an unusual reason, and this time it's not about my parents turning off the phone. The reason: the phone suddenly had no dialtone. And of all the days that this could happen, it happened today, dammit, TODAY!!!! ARGH!!! Just when my parents are away for a night. And to think that for this night (supposed to be), I could play freely. *sigh* And to think that I actually bought a bunch of internet cards just for this night. And it all goes to nothing.

It was quite unusual, really. According to my mother, we already paid the phone bill, and I was really annoyed at why the dialtone suddenly vanished. And up to now, it's still not present. I tried calling this landline through my cellphone, and it rang- but the landline phone unit didn't ring. O_o Damn.

I know it's quite trivial and weird to cry over the phone's dialtone, but I can't help myself because tonight is just one of those nights that I would like to enjoy myself by playing FREELY. But I can't, the night is already ending. *sigh* As you know, it's been ages since I last played RO for the whole day. And tonight, I was supposed to do that. But no~ I can't accomplish my wish because of the damned dialtone that vanished.

Tomorrow will be Monday... fortunately there are no classes [as usual, except on very rare occasions], but unfortunately I have to start doing my homework tomorrow. So I can't play RO anymore. And once Tuesday arrives, I can't play RO for the whole week. I even doubt that I'd be able to play RO for the next few weeks because of our damned workload and our damned hectic schedule. And damned course requirements.

And so to make my long, nonsensical sentences short, this is the bulleted list of why I cried tonight.
** Tonight is the only chance I got to play RO freely, but I can't, because of the phone
** I can't play RO tomorrow because of homework, course requirement work, and all those other damned effing schoolwork
** Of all the days that the dialtone could 'vanish', why did it have to be today?

*sigh* Sometimes life could be just unfair. Damned unfair. Very unfair. Now I'm starting to wonder if I really am unlucky when it comes to these things. What's wrong with "celebrating" online anyway? I just wanted to play RO, that's all. Is that too much to ask, even if it's just for one night?

Now because of what happened, I don't feel like doing anything. Even homework. I just feel like sleeping. After all, there's nothing to do. I'm not in the mood for drawing, and I'm not really interested in the anime replays in Animax this evening. I don't feel like improvising time and doing my homework either. After all, I'll be doing them the whole day tomorrow, anyway. -_-

Oh and up to now, I'm still thinking of a good outlet (other than listening/singing the song "Pride" by High and Mighty Color, over and over and over again). I really need to get this frustration out, somehow. Because if this frustration doesn't fade, then my tears might not stop until tomorrow.

*sigh* How I wish that the dialtone could just "return" for one more time, for at least two hours. So I can play RO and I could sleep peacefully- without having to let myself cry to sleep. And to think that my auntie will accompany me when I sleep in my room (well since my parents are not here for the meantime). My auntie might see my tears. i don't want that. Really.

But seriously, I need to get this frustration out of myself. I'm running out of tears already. -_-

0 broken chains [+] 8:19 PM