[[• Contemplations Within Struggle •]] [[• v.23 Midnight Enchantment •]]

The Magician

Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon. Female, born on May 27, 1988. Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD

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My Name

ANGELI - Adventurous. Neat. Glorious. Elegant. Luscious(?!). Inspirational.

MEIRA - Misunderstood. Exquisite. Insane. Radiant. Artistic.
And your name means...?

Other Stuff

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This site is certified 43% evil and 57% good by the Gematriculator.

The layout

The current layout features Syaoran and Sakura from the anime/manga Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. The pic was downloaded from the Aethereality Gallery. This layout was designed/edited by me with the use of Notepad and Adobe Photoshop. Except for the image/s, fonts, textures/patterns and brushes used, everything else is mine, so no take and no ripping off. Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is © CLAMP. This layout was uploaded on August 19, 2007.

The mood icons

Weee.. XD The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;

Waii~ XD And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*

My Tarot Card

Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.

Negative: When reversed this card represents a lack of drive and focus or letting others manipulate us to their own ends. It can also mean arrogance or foolhardy behavior. A lack of control and imbalanced thought.

Friday, February 17, 2006
Untitled# 23

[mood

guilty]
[music Gundam Seed - Akatsuki no Kuruma (Piano Version)]

Fucking shit. Here we go again. After all this time, here we are again, bitching over academics. *shrugs*

Okay, so I told my mom that I got ANOTHER line of 8 in the midterms (for the second semester). And of all subjects, it had to be in Accounting. I got 88. It's not yet a failing grade, because it's still above 85.

My mom said she wasn't surprised, she was just disgusted. She told me about getting all those line of 9's and all that shit. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to cope up with her expectations. And of course, I feel guilty. I know I am to be blamed since I didn't do much with my studies. I preferred to stay online, rather than study my boring subjects.

So I guess I might not be online for a few weeks, due to this predicament of mine. Well my parents didn't really say that I'm grounded from the computer, but in their statement, they told me indirectly. *shrugs* They told me that it's my choice, and in addition to that, they said, "Don't go crying to us if you get kicked out of the Accountancy program".

I know the consequences, so I guess I really have to start "moving". But I don't really have much inspiration these days. I envy my classmate. She told us (during math class) that she was really excited to go home... because unlike in school, she doesn't encounter any stressors at home. *sigh* Envyyyy. Come to think of it, when I'm at home, I feel relaxed SOMETIMES. But when times like these come, the home becomes a stressor itself.

Man, it's really hard to live up to expectations. And it's much much harder to endure your overflowing emotions, especially when people around you start bitching at you while you can't answer back. Well, I don't really mind being bitched at by my parents. I know I'm the one at fault, anyway. I just can't bear to hear my parents blaming others, when it could have been me who's to be blamed. I heard them blaming my friends again. They told me that they're bad influence.

I know there are times wherein I seem to have hated my friends, but I can't bear to hear other people blaming them. After all, people have their own identities, etc etc... *sigh* Yes I know I'm an illogical "martyr". Oh well.

The other thing that I can't bear to hear is them blaming my lone inspiration in life: anime. They have blamed it once again. They told me that my hobby is a waste of time. Well they could be right, but I'm not watching anime 24/7 now, am I? And I'm not drawing 24/7, am I?

I know I might be missing the big picture here, but that's the way I think. Besides, I'm too frustrated to think about it. *sigh* I just hate those kinds of things. If they'd be so observant as to blame EVERY fucking thing under the sun, I'd prefer them to blame only ME. As in, ME. *points to herself* I'm the one at fault anyway, because it was MY choice to procrastinate and all that!

*sighs again* My mind is filled with a lot of thoughts right now. Too bad they're too many (and too "mixed") to type down. =___=

Anyway, since I ran out of stuff to type down, that would be all for now... Hope to update next time, if there would be a next time. *sighs*

1 broken chains [+] 6:04 PM