[[• Contemplations Within Struggle •]] [[• v.23 Midnight Enchantment •]]

The Magician

Meira Kurosaki. Xedosarthea. Rey Za Burrel Barvon. Female, born on May 27, 1988. Loves anime / manga, coffee, going online, lazing around, yaoi, shounen-ai, anime music, J-pop/J-rock, angsting, drawing, procrastinating, listening to music. Narrow-minded. Weird. College student. Does not have a bright future. XD

Related links

Albion Palace

Methuselah Empire

Recent Music

Fleurs du Mal

The Ghetto

The Gate

Ichiraku Ramen Forum
Minitokyo | Anime Paper
VN Manga | Evil Empire
Gendou.com | Gaia Online
Jpop Jrock Rotation
Not A Shrimp | OFF RAMP
Kingdom of Knuffel

Drops of Blood

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
March 2007
July 2007
December 2007
May 2008
June 2008

My Name

ANGELI - Adventurous. Neat. Glorious. Elegant. Luscious(?!). Inspirational.

MEIRA - Misunderstood. Exquisite. Insane. Radiant. Artistic.
And your name means...?

Other Stuff

Link me banners:
88x31 125x54 200x40

This site is certified 43% evil and 57% good by the Gematriculator.

The layout

The current layout features Syaoran and Sakura from the anime/manga Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. The pic was downloaded from the Aethereality Gallery. This layout was designed/edited by me with the use of Notepad and Adobe Photoshop. Except for the image/s, fonts, textures/patterns and brushes used, everything else is mine, so no take and no ripping off. Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is © CLAMP. This layout was uploaded on August 19, 2007.

The mood icons

Weee.. XD The GS/GSD Club mood icons are credited to The Gundam Seed Community @ LJ for posting(?) and/or advertising these mood icons. It features the SEED Club, which is like a collection of chibi Gundam SEED/Destiny pics. They're so cute, and I can't resist using them. The icons were supposed to be for LJ blogs only, but anyway... So, yeah.. I'm crediting.. so I guess it's okay.. hehehe *salutes* ^^;

Waii~ XD And~ the Trinity Blood mood icons... they're created by me, so no take and no ripping off. Thank you. XD *salutes*

My Tarot Card

Positive: The Chariot card represents the need to take control of ones actions to rise above the conflicts in ones life. The Chariot alerts us of the need to draw energy not only from our material resources but from within as well. The Chariot reminds us that we must have balanced energy in order to reap the rewards of all that life has given us. The Chariot represents a dualistic nature and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Focus and awareness is necessary in order to make the most out of the situation. Most importantly, the Chariot represents the need to hold on tightly to the reigns because should we let go we will face the likelihood of going way off course. Ultimately, if we don't hold tight and steer our way through, our life can get way out of control.

Negative: When reversed this card represents a lack of drive and focus or letting others manipulate us to their own ends. It can also mean arrogance or foolhardy behavior. A lack of control and imbalanced thought.

Sunday, September 10, 2006
Vehemently crushed . . . ?

[mood |

crushed]
[music | Gundam Seed - Rey Za Burrel: Omokage]

I have said this before, and I'll say it again............ I just HATE getting sermons. Especially if we just came from mass, which makes that another "sermon".

Pfffft. =_=" And I was supposed to work on my Religion assignment (which is a drawing)... but I lost my mood because of that "sermon". And no, it's not the sermon from the mass. Duh.

...So I guess my narrow-mindedness is showing again. Oh well.

*groans*

I know my performance in school's not that good for this semester, and I even got a line of 6 in Accounting as my midterm grade. And now my parents are (as usual) telling me to lay off the comp for a while... and my dad kept talking about dedicating more time to my studies and stuff...

I've heard that line for a lot of times before... but....

I'M REALLY OUT OF MOTIVATION ALREADY, DAMMIT... Only a perfect score will help me this finals, so I can get my grade up to at least 75... but I don't think that's possible. Even if I force myself to study... I dunno, but I really lost hope already. I know I won't make it.

My parents said that they're okay with my shifting of courses, but they are saying that they hate students who shift. So, which is which? And now I can't but feel that they're ashamed of having me as their daughter too. Because I know I did okay when I was in elementary and highschool... but I'm getting worse now that I'm in college.

And now... I dunno, but I feel really crushed. And depressed. And maybe.. suicidal. I can't bear the humiliation, I'm so ashamed of myself. Sorry mom, sorry dad...

*cries*

My mom told me to do my best to raise my grade (for the finals) in Accounting to at least 75... Or maybe drop the Financial Accounting subject, but that will give my transcript a 'FW' (failure due to withdrawal) mark.

My dad said that he preferred the 'FW' mark, but he said I should try to "pursue" the fight 'till the finals. I'd think of the same thing too, I'd rather pursue the finals since, after all, I'm already there... but the only thing that hinders me is this: What if I would still get a line-of-6 grade for the finals? Then I'd be regretful even more for not dropping the subject before the finals...

But... as my mom said, if I'd still get a line of 6 as my grade for the finals, my application for work in the future (since the employer/s would see my transcript of grades and stuff) would be affected. And if I drop the subject now and get a 'FW' mark, my application for work would still be affected. *DIES*

But I really dunno, I can't decide anymore... I know seeing a line of 6 AND a 'FW' mark would not be pleasing for the employer... but... *cries again*

So what should I do now? Should I pursue the subject even if the risk of getting another line of 6 is still there? Or should I drop the subject now even before that happens?

Ayoko na talaga, pwede bang mamatay nalang ako?

......... I really don't have a bright future.

*sulks to a corner and angsts*

(And they're praying the rosary downstairs with some neighbors... and I'm still in the room, crying my heart out. Pfft.)

1 broken chains [+] 8:14 PM